


Old Time Rock and Roll

by Tayryns_Tower (tayryn)



Category: The Princess Diaries - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:47:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tayryn/pseuds/Tayryns_Tower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Genovia's Queen has been working too hard.  Her trusty head of security decides to distract her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Old Time Rock and Roll

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyDuchess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDuchess/gifts), [Faithfully_Focused](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faithfully_Focused/gifts).



> The original version of this fic was written by my good friend Jaya for the seaQuest universe almost a decade ago now. With her permission, I have tweaked it for the Princess Diaries. (It was also tweaked a third time, by me, for The Nanny - which you can find on this site as well.)

Joseph sighed quietly as he propped his body up against the doorframe, and stared at his ladylove.

Clarisse sat at the dining table in the hotel suite, surrounded by stacks of folders and papers. Not an inch of the table’s surface could be seen. Her hair was tousled from constantly running her fingers through it, and her reading glasses were perched on the end of her nose. She scribbled endlessly on a yellow legal pad, looking up occasionally to glance through one folder or another.

When Clarisse dropped her head to rest on her hand, her pen falling to the table, Joseph pushed away from the door, crossed the room and stepped up behind her.

“Clarisse, my darling, come on, you need a break. You’ve been at this for three days with only a few hours sleep.” His hands fell to her shoulders, his fingers gently massaging the tense muscles there.

A low moan escaped Clarisse’s lips as her head fell back against Joseph’s stomach. “Oh God, that feels so good.”

“Mia has gone off with Lilly and Michael, and will be spending the night with them, so we have the suite to ourselves. Why don’t you go lie down on the bed and I’ll give you a proper massage?”

Clarisse gave a small, unladylike snort. “I wish that I could but this damned funding proposal has to be presented to Parliament first thing upon our return to Genovia, Tuesday morning.”

“I read your original proposal. It was great.”

“Great isn’t good enough. If I’m to go ahead with this project I must get Parliament’s approval. This is important - ”

“But it isn’t worth your health, my darling. You need some rest or you will fall apart during your presentation.”

“I don’t have that much more to do. I’m almost finished with the rewrites. Another day and - ”

“Another day and you will collapse from exhaustion. You are obsessed with this, Clarisse. We’re supposed to be on vacation; visiting with Mia and you’ve done nothing for over a week but work on this proposal, night and day.”

“Because it is important to me. Dammit, Joseph! I’m the queen! It’s my duty to look after the people of my country!”

Joseph’s hands flew up, and he stepped back from his angry queen. He realized quickly that Clarisse wasn’t in a mood to be reasoned with.

“I’ll leave you to your work then, Your Majesty,” he told her stiltedly, then left the room without looking back.

Clarisse scowled after him for a moment then hit her fist against the table in frustration.

**~^~ PD ~^~**

Joseph tugged his shoes off, and crept silently past the dining room, intent on not disturbing Clarisse. He absently noted that her head was lowered in her hands as he went but he didn’t realize she was crying until he was out of sight and heard her sobs.

‘Oh, my love. You are so burned out on all of this. What can I do to help you?’ Joseph leaned against the wall, his sock covered feet sliding absently over the polished wood floor as he listened to Clarisse cry.

He stared down absently at his foot as he thought, gradually coming to focus on the thick cotton sock moving easily over the surface beneath. ‘That might,’ he thought, his mind pulling back a memory from about twenty years ago. ‘If nothing else she’s sure to get a laugh out of it.’ He moved resolutely toward the back to his room to gather the items he needed to implement his plan.

**~^~ PD ~^~**

Clarisse scribbled one last line on the notepad, and threw the pencil down. Joseph’s words had been playing over and over in her mind, finally convincing her that he was right. Her preoccupation with this presentation was driving her crazy, detracting precious time from a rare opportunity to spend time with her granddaughter, as well as time alone with Joseph. It was time to go find her lover, and try to salvage the rest of the evening. Tomorrow she would make things right with Mia as well.

At that instant music rang through the suite, one long chord - ‘bum bum ba da da dum’ - then nothing. Clarisse’s eyes grew wide as the sound was followed by an instant of silence, then the same chord repeating. Her mouth fell open as she stared at the scene before her.

With the onset of the second chorus, Joseph slid into view, his back to Clarisse and his black socks gliding effortlessly on the polished wood flooring. His long-sleeve black button up shirt hung open, the collar turned up around his neck. One hand held a two foot black rod. The end of the rod closest to Joseph’s face was covered by a spongy red ball that Clarisse realized was the clown nose that Mia had purchased for fun at the carnival they’d attended earlier in the week.

But what surprised Clarisse most was that Joseph’s legs were completely bare, the tail of his shirt covering his bottom and the top of his thighs. At that moment the song started again.

Just take those old records off the shelf  
I’ll sit and listen to ’em by myself  
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul  
I like that old time rock ’n’ roll

Joseph’s knees began to lift and the bottom beneath the shirt began to shake as he danced to the music and whirled around to face Clarisse. Dark sunglasses covered his eyes, and his chest was covered by the usual black tee-shirt he wore beneath his button-down shirt. His tight black boxer briefs were visible beneath. He lifted the red nose to his mouth, and continued to sing at the top of his lungs.

Don’t try to take me to a disco  
You’ll never even get me out on the floor  
In ten minutes I’ll be late for the door  
I like that old time rock ’n’ roll

Clarisse couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled up from deep in the pit of her stomach, as she watched Joseph twirl and dance toward the table. Her hands clapped together in time with the music as she beamed at Joseph.

Still like that old time rock ’n’ roll  
That kind of music just soothes the soul  
I reminisce about the days of old  
With that old time rock ’n’ roll  
Won’t go to hear them play a tango  
I’d rather hear some blues or funky old soul  
There’s only one sure way to get me to go  
Start playing old time rock ’n’ roll

As the words of the chorus finished, Joseph executed a particularly stunning spin, then fell to his knees, twisting the rod around until it swung sideways so that he was now playing air guitar in time with the music.

“Joseph! Your knees!” Clarisse gasped through her laughter, tears running down her cheeks.

Call me a relic, call me what you will  
Say I’m old-fashioned, say I’m over the hill  
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul  
I like that old time rock ’n’ roll

Joseph had the music turned up to maximum volume so that the sound filled the suite to the exclusion of everything else. Had it been a bit lower one of them might have noticed the door slamming. As it was, neither Joseph nor Clarisse realized that they were no longer alone in the hotel suite until a very stunned seventeen year old girl appeared in the entryway, her eyes round with surprise.

Still like that old time rock ’n’ roll  
That kind of music just soo…

Joseph’s voice trailed off, as the song lyrics continued to blare. The dark glasses slid down his nose, as he peered at the stunned princess over the top of the lenses, a sheepish smile on his face.

Mia held up her hands and shook her head. “I don’t wanna know. I SO don’t wanna know. I forgot my MP3 player. I’m going to go grab it and disappear.” The young girl turned and fled.

The shades slid a bit further, as Joseph turned back to stare at Clarisse. She returned the stare in kind, her lips twitching frantically, as she struggled to hold back her mirth.

“Don’t do it!” Joseph held up his hand, one finger pointed at Clarisse in warning. It was her undoing. She burst out laughing again.

Joseph stood slowly, and turned to leave the lounge. Clarisse was on her feet in an instant, running to his side. As she rounded the table she remembered that she had kicked her shoes off but it was too late. Her momentum carried her forward as the silk of her nylons slid across the floor.

“Jose…!” she called the second before she crashed into him. Joseph turned his torso in time to receive the full impact of Clarisse’s body, and they both tumbled to the floor in a heap.

“I’m sorry I laughed. Please don’t be angry!” Clarisse begged, as she struggled to untangle her limbs from Joseph’s.

Joseph grinned, as he rolled Clarisse onto her back beneath him. “I’m not angry. I was just going to turn the music down. The whole point of this exercise was to make you laugh. You’ve been entirely too serious this past week.”

“And you and Mia have been angels for putting up with me. Not two seconds before you slid in here I had decided to quit working on the damned proposal today, and go with what I already have.”

The brilliance of Joseph’s smile was reward enough for Clarisse, but then he lowered his face to hers, lips brushing lips gently in thanks.

“Why don’t you go take a nice long nap? You need some rest. I’ll run out, take care of a few errands, then return in time to order us a sumptuous dinner in tonight,” Joseph murmured against Clarisse’s ear, as he nuzzled her blonde locks.

“Why don’t you join me for that nap instead?” Clarisse’s hands slid down Joseph’s back to cup his bottom suggestively.

“Because I doubt you would get any of the sleep that you need,” Joseph replied, but didn’t protest when Clarisse turned to face him, her mouth seeking his.

Their second kiss was anything but chaste, their legs entangling while their tongues did the same.

“GRAMMA!? JOE!? SHUT UP!!”

Joseph and Clarisse broke apart, their heads turning in unison to see Amelia feeling her way across the opening with one hand. The other hand was locked firmly over her eyes.

“Princess - ” Joseph started.

“I knew you two were close, but I didn’t realize you were… wow! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Don’t stop on my account. I’m sure that I won’t be scarred for life. Maybe for a few years but… OUCH!!” Mia stopped speaking, as she ran into the doorframe. “No! Don’t get up. I’m all right…” Her hand still groping the wall, Mia disappeared again. “Have a nice weekend!” she yelled out, as she opened the door, then laughter evident in her voice, “By the way, Joe... nice legs!”

The door slammed shut.

Joseph rolled to his back beside Clarisse, both of their bodies shaking with laughter, as the final chords of the song sounded, and the repeat button started it again. 

“We’re going to need to have a talk with her,” Joseph gasped between chuckles, as he slowly rocked to his feet, then stood, holding his hand out to Clarisse.

She took hold, and let him pull her to her feet, then moved smoothly into his arms. Joseph gave her a wink, then grasped her hand as he spun her body away from him.

“You are a nut, Joseph,” Clarisse told him on her return spin. “But I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life.”

“The feeling is entirely mutual, my queen.” Joseph answered with a smile, as he danced her around the room and down the hallway.


End file.
